


The Sleepover

by Neelee



Category: Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: F/F, Post-Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29961696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neelee/pseuds/Neelee
Summary: "Tell me more.”“You’ve had a shit week, and you’re gonna tell me about it. And I’ve had a shit week and I’m gonna tell you about it.”“How does that differ from any Friday actually?”“Exactly! You moving your things here wouldn’t change a lot, would it?” Gillian’s enthusiasm was of a contagious kind, and Caroline couldn’t help smiling at her.
Relationships: Gillian Greenwood/Caroline McKenzie-Dawson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	The Sleepover

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written Caroline and Gillian before - I hope this works! I love reading angsty fics about them, but now I heard just their cheerful voices. I had a picture in mind where Sarah Lancashire is cleaning and wearing yellow rubber gloves, and singing, from The Accident. So you'll have the rubber gloves here too! 
> 
> Thank you @aluckypenny for beta and praise!

"Listen, Gillian, I'll call you later. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but Judith's car is in my driveway. So.”

“Wow! Maybe she’s come to cook you that dinner she promised!”

“Shut it. You know how thrilled I’d be about that. Anyway, I’ll call you later, and we’ll talk about tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye. Have fun with Judith!” 

Caroline parked the Jeep and turned to Flora who was sitting in the backseat.

"Wait in the car for a little while, will you, dear? You can have my mobile." 

Caroline had just picked up Flora from Alan and Celia, and they were both looking forward to a cozy Friday evening on their own, before meeting Gillian on Saturday. “On their own” might include John being around, but Caroline tried to ignore him and the thoughts he caused. She would deal with him a bit later, somehow. Maybe just by shoving all his things into a rubbish bag and leaving it outside the door.

But now she needed to deal with Judith. Caroline sighed and stepped out of the car, feeling a bit stupid, even though there was no need to. She hadn’t answered Judith's texts, but there was no reason why Judith should be in her house. Well, Judith was not the woman who chose the best occasions to appear, was she? 

Ruth welcomed her gladly, but let out a restless whining too. Caroline couldn't say she was surprised when she found John in her kitchen in the middle of empty glasses and wine bottles, and drunk as hell. His speech was slurred when he tried to explain himself. 

"Judith. Judith… I couldn't stop.... She's in the, in the…" 

Caroline didn't bother to start shouting at John. Not yet. Or maybe she was done with shouting at him, maybe she should just get rid of him, once and for all. Maybe kill him. No, too much bother. 

Caroline went to see the state of things in the living-room. Judith was laying on the sofa, passed out, and she had lost her blouse somewhere. Caroline didn’t want to know how that had happened. She couldn’t make Judith wake up, so she went to find a bucket for her. Then she collected some things for herself and for Flora, and before leaving she went back to the kitchen to see John. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow morning, and you’d better be somewhere else by then, and Judith as well. And the house tidied up. And I hope I won’t have to see you ever again. And not her either. Come on, Ruth, let’s get out of this fucking mess.” 

**

Gillian hadn’t answered her phone, so Caroline had just driven to the farm. Now Caroline was unpacking the groceries which were meant for her and Flora’s girls’ night on Gillian’s kitchen counter.

“So, no fancy dinner with Judith today?” Gillian poured wine for them. 

“I suppose she won’t be eating anything for a while. Is it really alright that we stay over? I could call mum and Alan. They have the two spare bedrooms, as we all know.”

“‘f course you can stay. I suppose you’re not in the mood for Celia right now?” 

“No, I’m not.” Caroline could imagine how Celia would start listing up all the occasions when Judith or John, or Judith and John together, had caused similar scenes. And questioning why Caroline hadn’t just kicked them out of her house, or why she had let John in in the first place. All this naturally so that Flora would be listening. 

“Hey, we can play that we live together! You know, give our plan a try, or something. Let’s forget that your drunk ex-husband has occupied your house with his drunk ex-girlfriend. Who by the way wants to be your girlfriend.” 

“Could you just let it drop, I mean Judith? I’m up to any reality where both of them just don’t exist.”

“Okay! So now it’s Friday, and you’ve come home from work, and it’s Raff and Ellie who are just staying over and watching the telly! And I’ve just poured you wine, and…”

“Thanks.” 

“...and we’re about to make dinner, and Flora and Calam are building a castle in the living room.” 

“Sounds good. Tell me more.”

“You’ve had a shit week, and you’re gonna tell me about it. And I’ve had a shit week and I’m gonna tell you about it.”

“How does that differ from any Friday actually?” 

“Exactly! You moving your things here wouldn’t change a lot, would it?” Gillian’s enthusiasm was of a contagious kind, and Caroline couldn’t help smiling at her.

**

"We want to sleep in the castle!"

"Please mum, please Aunt Gillian!" Flora and Calamity were wearing glitter tiaras, capes and carrying huge plastic swords. Caroline was washing up the last dishes after their dinner, and Gillian had just come inside from feeding the sheep.

"I thought I was going to sleep on that couch. I mean castle." Caroline had slept plenty of nights on that castle-couch, and she didn't blame the couch for waking up groggy almost every time. It had to do with the wine consumed the nights before, on that said couch, with Gillian.

"You could sleep upstairs, Caroline. Your castle is grand, girls, also for a sleepover. But not for an adult." Gillian was apparently being a nice grandparent today. Or well, she always was. Caroline envied her energy. “And now, Calam, go and get sheets for you, ask your dad if you don’t find any.”

“Cool, granny, thanks!” The girls vanished waving their swords.

"You're also sleeping upstairs, because you live here now, don't forget that!" Gillian had gladly jumped back into their game of old spinsters sharing a house. 

"May I remind you that Raff's lot is at the moment living in my future bedroom." Caroline put away a frying pan and leaned to the sink.

"We can share. I just need to move all the books from the other side of my bed." Gillian came to wash her hands and Caroline stepped aside.

"You sure? I… I don't want to invade your bed." Caroline felt a little uneasy at the thought of sleeping in Gillian’s bed. They had fallen asleep on the same couch several times, sometimes even woken up together in the morning. But it wasn’t the same. It hadn’t been planned, there was always more or less wine involved. It had been nice to wake up next to Gillian, she was surprisingly warm and soft to sleep with, nothing edgy about her even one might think so… But thinking about Gillian’s warmth was out of bounds, Caroline reminded herself. It made things complicated, and she didn’t want anything complicated. Gillian couldn’t be complicated, because she was the easiest person to be with in Caroline’s life. 

"You're not invading anything. We can build a castle too, if you like. Adult size." 

"Thank you. I really don't want to cause you any bother."

"Caroline, you're no bother. Don't you get it, I want to have you here! Even in my bed." Gillian had gone to wipe the dining table, her back turned to Caroline.

"Oh. Oh!" Caroline blushed right away. Had Gillian heard her thoughts? How could she say it that casually, even if she only was joking? The girls were just around the corner...

"I didn't mean that!” Gillian turned back to Caroline, a little unsure smile on her face. “Or I did mean that, because I don't want to sleep alone. I hate sleeping alone." Gillian’s tone was still casual, but she sounded to be serious about not wanting to sleep alone.

"I let Ruth sleep in my bed." This was better. Talking about being lonely. Not talking about precisely wanting to sleep with one another. Caroline’s heart was pounding and she hoped she wasn’t blushing too much. 

"She's welcome into my bed too. I mean if you're gonna miss her." Ruth was right there, waving her tail, and going from Gillian to Caroline and back. She had heard her name.

"I… I'll be fine without her." Caroline couldn’t help thinking about the human Ruth. No, don’t go there, thinking about her in Gillian’s bed.

"Because you'll have me!" Gillian was beaming, nothing unsure there anymore.

Caroline rolled her eyes. “I thought this was about sharing a house, not getting married.”

“Who said that we’d get married? It’s completely possible to share a bed in a platonic way. Even though you’re the hottest lesbian I know.”

“Granny, what does platonic mean? Are you two getting married? That’d be sooo cool!” This was exactly what Caroline had feared, the girls had big ears and they appeared from nowhere. Gillian and her big mouth.

“Nobody’s getting married. Platonic’s like… In a friends way, you could say.”

“So me and Flora are platonic?”

“Yes. But it’s not a common word to use. You want some snacks for your castle?” Gillian was as cool as any grandparent who had been overheard negotiating bed-sharing with her hot lesbian friend. Caroline sat down at the kitchen table and gave Ruth an absent-minded rub.  
Had Gillian said before that she was hot? Attractive, yes, but hot?

**

“So here we are.” Gillian started collecting books and discarded clothing from the bed. Caroline wondered who had slept there last. Gillian hadn’t mentioned anyone for a long time, but it didn’t mean much. Few of Gillian’s partners had ended up in her bedroom, and she didn’t tell Caroline everything. Caroline didn’t want to ask now either. It wasn’t her business, and besides that, she didn’t want to answer any questions about her non-existing sex life. Admitting that she slept with her dog was enough.

The evening had been nice. Caroline had almost forgot the reason for them being at Gillian’s. Maybe Gillian had given a special effort because of that, trying to cheer her up. Or maybe not. When Gillian was in a good mood, she really was. The idea of them living together had apparently cheered Gillian up. The absurdity of it also made Caroline smile, and she was happy that she had come with the idea in the first place.

“Don’t you want to enjoy having the house just for yourself? I love it when Flora is at Greg’s and Lawrence God knows where.”

“It’s nice for a day or two. Then the air gets heavy, somehow. You know what I mean?” Gillian had started putting fresh sheets on.

“I don’t. I haven’t lived on my own for a very long time.” Caroline had picked up a random book from the pile by the bed, The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters. Wasn’t this Waters a lesbian? 

“Yeah. Sure.” Gillian had noticed the book in Caroline’s hands. She looked at Caroline, was she a bit uncomfortable?

“What’s this about? I recognise the author. But I haven’t read any of the books. I’m a bad lesbian.”

“It’s… it’s about two women who… who live in the same house. And fall in love. The other woman’s h-husband’s in the way though, so… I’m not gonna tell you everything!”

“Okay. Sounds interesting. Maybe I should read it.” Gillian was seemingly self-conscious, so Caroline went on, however stupid it might sound. “You know, I read a lot about straight people, so I don’t mind you reading about gay people. I think it’s cool.”

“Thanks for the permission.” Gillian flicked an uncertain smile. Caroline felt puzzled. Was Gillian weird just because she thought Caroline was judging her taste in books? Or should she read more into it? That would be… unsettling.

**

“This is weird. I’m almost sober and sleeping with you.” Gillian switched off the lights. 

“Yeah. You remember last Christmas when you passed out on me?” 

“I didn’t pass out! I just fell asleep. I had had an early morning.”

“In that case, you fell asleep on me in an unsober state.”

“You didn’t complain.” 

“You just didn’t hear it because you had passed out, pardon me, fallen asleep.”

“Maybe I wasn’t asleep. Maybe I was just pretending. Just to have a reason to fall asleep on you.”

“You’re kidding me, aren’t you?” Caroline wasn’t sure where this was going. Gillian’s tone was light, again, as if it was nothing special that she wanted to be close to Caroline.

“What if I say that I remember that you kissed my forehead and put some hair behind my ear? That was nice.”

Caroline felt exposed in the dark. It wasn’t as bad as it could be, because Gillian had just admitted that she herself had been searching for intimacy on purpose. This was both good, and complicated. Or maybe not so complicated, because it seemed to be easy for Gillian. For Gillian who could be very straightforward when it came to getting what she wanted. Pretending to fall asleep was actually a very soft approach. Caroline tried to be honest, because Gillian was.

“I-I remember that it was nice. And I don’t mind you falling asleep on me, or whatever, you don’t have to fool me.”

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Do you think letting the girls have the couch was fooling you up here?”

“I played happily along.”

“I could see that you weren’t extremely excited about it.”

“Well, I felt a bit confused. About you wanting to share a bed, and calling me hot. Which is bullshit, by the way. Yeah, I had good reason to feel a bit confused.”

“I’ve been completely open about my opinion for quite some time, that I think that you’re attractive. So no bullshitting there.”

“Well, thanks? But… you mean like you feel attracted to me, or am I just, erm, generally attractive?” Oh shit, did you just ask that? Caroline was blushing hard. But she had to know.

“I-I don’t know what the hell is generally attractive. Of course I feel attracted to you if I call you attractive!” 

“Okay…. Okay.” Caroline’s heart was pounding. “But you’ve never said you’d like women.”

“I don’t like women in general. Or I do like women in general, because women are great, but you know what I mean. I-I like you. Mostly because you’re my friend, you’re family, but it gives a nice extra thrill that you’re hot, and you’re a lesbian. I wouldn’t like to fall asleep on any random stepsister, I suppose. Oh f-fuck, did I just say that? You must think I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, you just said that. But I don’t think you’re an idiot. Thank you for being honest.” You pillock, this isn’t going right if you thank her for being honest, and don’t say anything yourself. Caroline was sweating, and this time it wasn’t because of menopause.

“Caz, how do you feel about me? As a lesbian? I’ve always wanted to ask you this. I think I need to know before you move in. Because sometimes you… look at me.” 

“How do I look at you?” Great. You didn’t answer the question.

“I-I dunno. Like you like what you see.”

“I do like what I see! Of course I do. You’re a striking woman, Gillian.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. And not just on a general level.” How hard can it be? You let her pull out every confession out of you. She deserves better than that. Caroline cleared her throat. “I mean, I feel attracted to you. Sometimes very... attracted.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything? We could have had a lot of fun!”

“I think we’ve had some fun?”

“You know what I mean.”

“As a queer person, I expect some queerness from the person I make a pass at. I’ve made my mistakes.”

“Sorry I haven’t been queer enough.”

“Are you sure that you’d like having sex with me? If you haven’t ever been with a woman?”

“What if we just stop talking and give it a try?”

“O---okay. But…. Oh, nothing.”

“What?”

“I just wonder… How can you be so cool about it?”

“I like to keep things simple. I like you, I like having sex. Can’t be that bad.”

“But what if it’s embarrassing? What about tomorrow?”

“I’ve been through more embarrassing things in my life, believe me. We’ll get over it.”

“What if Flora wakes up and comes here?”

“She’s become a good sleeper. And she won’t die if she sees something. We can try to be decent.” 

“What is decent sex, actually?” 

“Well, let’s be boring, have the lights off, stay under the covers?”

“O-okay.”

“Now, stop thinking, Caroline. It’s me. Let me touch you.” Gillian rolled over to Caroline. Oh. Oh! Caroline had expected that Gillian would kiss her, but she had her hand on her breasts.

“Is this alright? I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

“It’s very alright. Come here.” Caroline pulled Gillian into a kiss. Oh.

**

Caroline woke up freezing. We have to do something about the windows, it’s like Siberia. Wait… We… Yes. She had had sex with Gillian, her step-sister, who was now feeding the sheep, because it was 6.30 in the morning. They would meet downstairs where her daughter would be waking up, and they would make breakfast, and life would go on as usual. Just… She felt sticky between her legs. A shower. Oh fuck it’s cold in here!

The warm water brought the memory of Gillian’s hands back. Caroline couldn’t call the experience decent - that had been a shit plan from the beginning - but the experience had been good. Very good. Gillian had been tender, and determined, and surprisingly communicative. Well, she was used to explaining what she liked. Caroline had a funny feeling that Gillian would have liked to take it slow, but she hadn’t been sure if it was alright to be that gentle - that romantic? Maybe because it was her - they were sisters actually! Gillian didn’t seem to have any problem being at the receiving end of gentle touch, and she had been a happy little spoon before they fell asleep.

When Caroline came downstairs the little girls were already up and going on with their castle adventure. Thank God they hadn’t shown up upstairs. Even with Gillian gone, Caroline had felt that their little adventure was written all over her body and hanging in the air. The shower had helped. But suddenly she was also disappointed - was it all gone now? When would she have it back? 

**

“I think I’d better drive back and check how things are at home. John doesn’t answer his phone, and I don’t want to try Judith’s.” They were having breakfast, just the two of them. Caroline felt that she had it all back already. Gillian had hugged her good morning after coming in, and the hug had been good and long. Nothing had been said, but Gillian had let her hand linger at her waist after the hug, and they were both smiling like idiots.

“You want me to come along? I could help you if the place needs some cleaning.”

“Yeah, that would be nice. We could… talk a bit too. If you don’t think it’s bother for Raff and Ellie if Flora stays here?”

“Absolutely no bother. They’ll have Calam off their neck.” 

“Fine.” They were smiling again. “Am I right that we’re thrilled about this house cleaning trip?”

“Yeah. And I’m thrilled if I get the chance to throw John out of your house.”

“I hope he’s gone already.”

“It’s first 8 AM. I suppose not.”

“What if we give them some more time?”

“I’m not in a hurry. Some more tea?”

**

“So, what do you think? About last night?” Caroline blurted out when they finally were seated in the Jeep.

“Wh-what do I think?” Gillian sounded unsure.

“How did you like it? Was it okay to have sex with a woman?”

“It was good to have sex with you. Really nice. I thought I told you that already.”

“So you weren’t missing anything?”

“God no. Caroline, where does this come from?”

“I was just thinking.” 

"Was it alright for you? I'm not a real lesbian, so I don't know all the lesbian tricks."

"Where does THAT come from? You knew how to make me come, that's relevant."

Gillian looked self-satisfied. "I think I could learn some tricks."

"I'm sure you could." Caroline felt she had blurted it out in a less enthusiastic way. "I mean, it would be nice to be part of that. If you're in?" Caroline was suddenly nervous. She was very eager to go to bed with Gillian again.

"You can bet I'm in, Caz." Gillian flicked an assuring smile.

"Good. Good! Nice. I- I just wonder what we are now. Girlfriends? Bed buddies?"

"Do we have to know it now? Let's just find out?" 

"Yeah. Sure." Caroline thought about the next weekend when Flora was going to Greg's. She could spend the nights with Gillian.

"I wonder if we have time for a quickie after the cleaning?"

"Oh, now I see why you wanted to come along." Caroline parked the Jeep in front of her house. 

"I thought you thought about it too." 

"I thought about talking to you."

"We can talk as well."

"Okay. But now, are we ready?"

"Yeah."

Right then a taxi appeared on the street.

"That's a good sign!" Gillian cheered. "And that too." The front door opened, and John and Judith stepped outside. 

"Let's stay in the car. I don't want to talk to them. Ever." Caroline took a deep breath.

"Oh shit, he's coming here."

John knocked on Caroline's window. Caroline didn't open it, she flicked a V with her fingers, and locked the doors. 

"We could thank him actually. Without their little surprise you wouldn't have ended up in my bed." Today seemed to be a day when Gillian had only positive thoughts.

"You mean like 'dear John, thank you for the good sex we had'"? Caroline managed to make it sound a very lovely thank you and Gillian laughed like crazy.

"Exactly." 

"I think we’d have figured it out sooner or later anyway."

“I’m happy we did it last night and not at 75. Hey, I think he tries to say that he's sorry."

"He should just go." Caroline yelled at him through the window "GO! GET LOST!"

"Please, shut up or open the window." Gillian held her ears.

"Now he's going. Judith sits in the taxi already."

"Great."

"Ready for the mission?"

"Yes."

The mess wasn't as bad as Caroline had feared. Her unwanted guests had tried to tidy up a bit, the bottles were in plastic bags and the glasses in the dishwasher. The kitchen floor was sticky, and the bathroom needed a proper cleaning. They were done in 30 minutes. She pulled off her rubber gloves with a smile on her face. She should clean more often with Gillian. With Gillian as a reward for her efforts.

Gillian appeared at the bathroom door. "So you wanted to talk? Or can we talk in bed?" 

"How much time do we have? 

"An hour or so."

"We can talk on the way back. I've had very visual thoughts about you while cleaning the toilet. Come." Caroline took Gillian's hand and led her to her bedroom. Gillian was more than eager to follow. Caroline couldn’t believe her good luck - Gillian was still the same, the easiest person in her life, and all of Gillian’s warmth was suddenly within her reach. There was nothing complicated about it.


End file.
